A thousand times we die in one life. We crumble, break and tear apart until the layers of illusion are burned away and all that is left, is the truth of who and what we really are. – Teal Scott
Each and every one of us has encountered some form of loss in our lifetime. Whether we have had to grapple with the end of a relationship, or had to let go of a loved one, experiencing loss unifies every organism inhabiting this Earth. While loss is a natural part of life, that does not make exposure to these types of events any less painful, or less difficult. We would like to focus this week’s post on the idea of loss, particularly of close loved ones. We would like to provide our own reflections regarding this subject, as well as tools that we have used to cope with our own losses, in the hope that it is beneficial to any of you reading who are currently struggling with these kinds of situations.
As we mentioned before, loss is one of the main experiences that is shared between all organisms on this planet. Although expressed differently between species, cultures, and even individuals, we are all connected in the fact that we have to deal with loss at some point in our short existence. You cannot begin to address a dilemma or challenge such as this one, without first understanding why it inspires certain feelings within each of us. We believe that the root of the discomfort incited by loss, is the change that inevitably comes with it. Each of us is used to, and on some level dependent upon, our relationships with other people. Individuals who are close to us become engrained in our routine, and seeing or speaking to these people becomes habitual. We identify some part of ourselves within these friends, partners, and/or family members, and we are accustomed to having these people available at any time. Suddenly, this person passes, or is no longer a part of our lives. In essence, we are forced to part with a small (or large) piece of ourselves, and some part of our past life that was associated with that loved one. As we all know, this process is uncomfortable and can often yield a significant amount of sadness and confusion. If this change is unexpected, the resulting feelings can intensify, as you try to adjust and regain homeostasis and balance in your life once more, but with limited mental preparation. Regardless of the timeline, we try to explain to ourselves what happened, and do our best to figure out how to move on and continue our amended lives…typically as quickly as possible.
While this is a natural reaction, and often the most comforting, we have found, and witnessed, that it is best to allow yourself to grieve and fully embrace the emotions that you are feeling. Suppressing these reactions, as opposed to confronting and releasing them, can be toxic to your mental and spiritual health, resulting in an impact on your physical health. As mentioned in our post on balance, your sacral chakra is associated with your ability to sense, as well as with potential issues related to feelings. In suppressing your feelings, you are closing your sacral chakra, which can lead to issues such as depression, lower back pain, and alcohol and drug abuse. You may also be closing your throat chakra, which is associated with self-expression of feelings and your truth. Inactivation of this chakra may result in thyroid imbalances, which can then affect your weight, as well as issues with your mouth, neck, and shoulders.
If you do not believe in the energy behind chakras, research has shown that suppressing emotions can actually magnify them. Physical manifestations of this stress can include high blood pressure and increased incidence of diabetes and heart disease. Your immunity can also be lowered, leading to greater chance for bone weakness and overall illness.In order to prevent these long-term problems, it is best to acknowledge your feelings as soon as possible in emotional situations, and establish the best way to cope with them. This is unique to each of us, and we will discuss a few of our own coping mechanisms at the end of this post.
We also have to realize that when we lose a loved one, we have to acknowledge our own mortality, how quickly time passes, and how spontaneously life can change. Each of these thoughts can cause uneasiness, especially when they are rooted in fear of the unknown, and our innate difficulty to let go of control of our own lives and live by the mindset of let it be. We can only control our own actions, and how we treat others, and trust that everything else will fall into its proper place, even if it does not feel as though life is playing out as planned. Life is intended to be dynamic, as are we, and we are designed to be resilient and adaptable. It is when we realize how strong we are, and discover our own power and robustness, that we can approach our lives with a positive lens. While we may not live forever, we are all capable of leaving a legacy, as loved ones who have passed before us have. We take time each week, but strive to make time each day, to reflect on what we want our legacy to be. We write these goals out and repeat them, especially when we set our intentions for the week, and when we say our affirmations to ourselves each morning. We encourage you to do the same, so that you lead the life you envision for yourself, and so that the idea of leaving this world becomes less misunderstood and terrifying, and transforms into a beautiful and accepted part of life.
Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
Despite the fact that the physical presence of our deceased loved ones is no longer there, the energy from these individuals is not lost, but merely recycled. They are all around you, in the air your breathe, in the trees that provide that oxygen, and in the sunlight that allows these trees to live. They exist within their offspring, and in the memories that they created with you. Celebrate their life, and the positive impact that they had on you and so many others. Relish in all of the new beginnings that they inspired, as opposed to focusing on the end of their life.
How To Cope
We would like to share a few tips that we have found help when trying to cope with the feeling connected with the loss of a loved one. These can be applied to an individual passing, or to a situation where someone is no longer in your life. We hope you find them helpful, but also encourage you to take time to figure out what works best for you.
1. Meditate and reflect, in whatever way comes naturally to you. We like to take time at the end of each day to sit alone and think about that person, and to recognize the emotions we are feelings towards their absence. The transition of thought is typically this:
– We remember positive memories with that individual.
-We confront the fact that they are no longer in our life. -We repeat to ourselves that we are strong and resilient, and that everything happens for a reason and will play out according to plan.
-We take a few deep breaths, and try to let go of our pain and sadness with each one.
2. We surround ourselves with positive people, and recognize our support system within these individuals. This is especially helpful if they also had ties with the the person who is no longer in our lives, because they can relate, or at least have a better understanding of what we are experiencing.
3. We are open with our emotions, and express them to ourselves, as well as to those whom we feel comfortable. We will typically discuss our feelings with people who we know are rational, and will help us work through them, as opposed to magnifying them.
4. We take time to establish and reflect on our goals, and the legacy that we would like to leave for future generations. We find it soothing to put these ideas into words, and typically also write them down.
5. We take time to do some activities that we enjoy, and that we know make us happy. Earlier in the process of moving on, we try to stray from activities that may be associated with the person who is no longer in our lives. This is helpful for regaining our independent identity, and to not be reminded of their absence. As we grow emotionally stronger, and our initial feelings begin to transition into acceptance, activities that involved the other individual may be reincorporated.
Thank you all for taking the time to read, and we hope that this post helps any of you who are experiencing loss to confront and work through some of the emotions you are feeling, and begin to move on. How have you all dealt with loss in the past? We would love tips that we can add to our own, and we think it would be beautiful to create a network that provides advice and support to those reading who may be struggling with loss!
Have a great week, support friends and family who may need it, and set some great intentions for yourself!
Love and Light, HR